So I had already written most of this right after his birth, I am going to make a second blog to follow-up on some of the aftermaths and feelings that came up after this birth.
Wednesday May 16th 2007-
I had been in prodromal labor for a while having irregular contractions. I had been dilated to 5 cm since about 39-40 weeks (I was now about 41 weeks). I was getting a bit anxious because of what happened last time. I was willing to try some natural induction methods to jump start my labor. I am really not an advocate of these things but my mental state just couldn’t handle another late baby. So I decided to try the castor oil trick. I took two doses and after the second dose started having some painful contractions. Along with pooping my brains out LOL. That was not fun. Anyway so after about 2 painful ones I called my midwives back over. I have to admit here that my (ex) husband was not there and was not at all involved since our marriage pretty much sucked. I really didn't need the midwives there for the contractions as much as I did the emotional support. I was terrified of going into labor. I was scared to be alone.
The contractions were pretty strong but stayed 10 minutes apart. I stayed up pretty much all night with contractions trying to get them to keep coming. I walked the steps for a while then walked around my room. This went on until about 6 am and then I finally was able to fall asleep for about half an hour. The midwives had spent the night and we all thought something would happen now…
Thursday May 17th 2007-
SO my contractions are still coming 5-7 minutes apart early in the morning and my midwife checked me about 7 am and I was now 6 cm. Once the kids got up though my contractions spaced back out to 10-15 minutes apart. I guess it was too much distraction. My doula came in the afternoon and took the kids to a place to play called monkey Joe’s. I was able to eat and then get a hour or so of sleep. When I woke up I was having contractions again close together but as soon as the kids came in they spaced back out. So at this point the midwives were giving me some homeopathics to try and get labor more established and stop jumping around. We all figured maybe once the kids went to bed that would help. My friend Khadijah came over and stayed the night with the midwives also helping keep me company and support me in labor. They did pick up after the kids went to sleep but only when I was taking homeopathics when they wore off they would space back out again. I was getting frustrated and was crying trying to figure out what in the heck was going on why is my labor doing this. So we all sat down and decided to stop trying to push it. And to just see what happens. I was now a good 7 cm but the baby kept switching from anterior to posterior. So we decided to stop meddling. That I would get some sleep as much as I could between contractions and that the next day I will just listen to my body and see what comes of it. Hence the first lesson I was taught, well re taught lol. You cannot rush the nature of things. I was not in control of anything. I was not responsible for what happened to my last baby and nothing I did would have changed the outcome. Nature is better left untouched.
Friday May 18th 2007-
So for some reason this day just felt like labor day. I woke up around 6 am and there were signs everywhere something was about to happen. It was really weird like I cannot explain it at all. I woke to some pretty intense and painful contractions. I went downstairs where my midwives and Khadijah were sleeping. I got some water and one of the midwives awoke and checked the baby. He was always a happy baby nice heart rate.
When we first moved here the only wildlife around was these frogs and turtles in the pond across from the front of my house. As time went on all of the sudden these ducks just decided our pond was the place to be. Then this same week I saw the first squirrel I have ever seen here fighting with a blue jay lol. Well this morning I looked out of the window and saw a RABBIT. Oh my goodness he was huge and right there.
So the plan this day was for me to get some rest and just let everything go naturally. So I was checked and was 8 cm. I got in the tub thinking maybe contractions would get closer. They actually spaced out again so I got really frustrated and discouraged and that is when I posted on earthy mommies. I was finally able to get rid of the kids. They were going to grandmas for the weekend. So they left around 5 pm. I took a shower and decided to go hang out in my nest and communicate with the baby. I was alone as my (ex)husband left to take them. I hooked up the satellite radio online and started jamming to some reggae. Hoping to have a beat to move my pelvis around to get baby better engaged. This was around 7 pm. The midwives were going to be there by 9 pm and stay the night and pray something happens. Being on the ball and bouncing and rocking with contractions helped get the baby in a better position somewhat. My midwives got there about 9: 30 and ate their dinner. Then they came up to my room and we were just hanging out like it was a party. It was so much fun really. The my doula came about eleven I think not exactly sure what time it was but it was around then. So we are all just laughing and it is almost like I am not even in labor.
So at this point I decided to get in the tub I was 9 cm and the baby was super low like +1 station but was still floating above my cervix not putting much pressure on it. We opened a window and heard zillions of the bullfrogs from the pond. Everyone decided to get some sleep and my (ex)husband who had been left out of all the girl fun came and gave me company at this point.
So as the morning approached we started discussing whether or not to break my water. I was still 9 cm my contractions were still weird but I was in more pain feeling more transitional . The baby was still not applying good pressure on my cervix so it was thought maybe by breaking the water he would come down some. He was low but not on my cervix good. Plus I had an anterior lip.
May 19th 2007-
So everyone is awake and we are all trying to decided what to do. I was upset and getting scared at this point. All of my anxieties and fears were creeping on me and I was in tears not sure if I should break my water or not. I was scared things would happen like they did last time. I was just plain scared. I finally agreed to let them do it . I cried and cried and cried I was relieved about that aspect but terrified of the rest. I was having pressure but I was tensing up my body because I was so afraid something would go wrong again. I labored for a bout 3 hours like that I was in excruciating pain and I could not let go of this fear that something would go wrong..
So back to the labor. We decided maybe I should push but I was really scared to. The closer it got to push the more worried and fearful I became. I knew I could give birth but my mind was giving me a serious hang-up. I was fighting my body. I sat on the toilet to pee and had to push a few times and she checked me and my cervix was swelling up. I told her at that point I needed to go. I had to go to the hospital and get an epidural so I could separate my mind from my body for a minute. I was fighting my body too much and. I knew that staying home was going to cause more harm than not. Especially since my water was broken. So I got my clothes on and my friend Khadijah and my (ex)husband and we all headed out. That was the worst part ever.
So the hospital was interesting to say the least I told (ex)hubby and Khadijah do NOT let them section me. Do not let them give me a c-section please. I was ready to fight and did. We got to the room and they checked me and said I was 6-7 cm (my MW said this happens a lot to women who transport and is probably good as if had been 10 I wouldn’t have gotten an epi). It took an hour or more to get an epidural. During that hour I was being brought papers to sign. I was brought a consent for a vaginal birth I signed it. She then came back and said whoops I need you to initial this I have added consent to a c-section too. My (ex)husband said she isn’t signing that. I said NO I am NOT signing a consent for a c-section. I am not getting a c-section. I am going to push this baby out of my vagina. I told her IF the need arose I would sign it then. She was about to go into how quick and emergency section may have to happen. I said NO it will take you longer to get me to the OR than it would for you to have me sign that damn paper. I am not signing.(all of this said in between transitional contractions BTW) So she got a clean paper and only had vaginal birth so I said that I consent.
I finally got my epidural and was grateful I could get my head back on right to give birth to my baby. (I hate epidurals by the way and would never get one for any reason other than necessity and in this case for me this birth it was needed.) This was about 1pm or so. So I got some rest and kept hearing this lady in the background who I didn’t like and was the main one who wanted to section me. She claimed my baby had decels when I first came in (he NEVER had a decel ever) but now that I was quiet and I could hear the monitor she said oh baby looks great.
I then proceed to inform every one of the nurses that I do not want my baby to get the eye goo. I do not want my baby to get the vitamin K shot I do not want him getting the hepatitis B. He was not to get any sugar water or any bottles period. Then I went into the fact I wanted to delay cord clamping. This resident doc was from San Lucia and she tried talking me out of that. I said no I KNOW the benefits of delayed cord clamping I have done my research and I do NOT want to clamp the cord. She tried to tell me the complete opposite of what the research says about it and I told her again NO. This is MY baby and I have every right to choose what I want for MY baby. I KNOW the benefits and I am not asking you I am telling you not to cut the cord. So she said she would go and get some papers on it ~rolling my eyes~ She brought back the I want to section you doc ha ha. So she runs down all these lists of dangerous outcomes in order to get me to not stand firm in what I wanted I told her I don’t care about the what ifs. All I want known is that if he comes out crying and fine DO NOT CUT THE CORD. Finally she agreed haha.( she hated me)
So around 6 pm they said that they wanted me to start pushing soon. They all tried to get into all these reasons about what would make me need a c-section. One thing that was said was about the shoulder dystocia baby. He mentioned not knowing what my sugars were like I shook my head and said I did my own prenatal care(couldn't tell them I had a midwife due to the legality issue in my state) and I can tell you exactly what my sugars are and in fact my (ex)husband can go right home and get my booklet to show you what my sugars have been and they have NOT been high. I said this baby is NOT too big. So basically the I wanna section you doctor kept throwing out scary scenarios to, I assume, make me be fearful enough to want a c-section. My (ex)husband said I was like a dog every time she got close to the fence I barked at her.
So I started pushing around 7:40 I pushed three times and she could see his eyebrows so she called for the doc it wouldn’t work so she pressed the emergency button and a flood of people came in ready for the worst . I pushed one more time and he flew out . All those people needed to see that. None of them believed I could do it. The funny nurse made sure I was FINALLY the first to hold my baby. ~tears flowing~ touching my slimy warm baby on my chest was the best feeling in the world. I was crying the whole time. He didn’t cry at first. He had inhaled some fluid so I only held him a minute. Then the cries ~tears again~ I finally got to SEE my baby crying for the first time. My little man was born at 7:48 pm weighing 9 lbs even and 21 inches long.
He was also born in the exact same posterior position that my first baby had been in that was used to justify my c-section. So not only did I birth a posterior baby but he was 2.5 lbs bigger than my c-section baby as well!
I have a few after thoughts about this experience that I will share in my next blog so stay tuned.....
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